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Caron Kipping – Divorce & Separation Coach
Master Practitioner Divorce Coach specialising in abusive and controlling relationships.
Also providing IDVA support in Family Court, training and consultancy.
Clients worldwide.
Abuse isn’t always physical. ![]()
Coercive controllers often use financial abuse to trap partners, isolate them, and destroy their confidence.![]()
By controlling the money, they control the choices.![]()
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Here are five common financial lies coercive controllers tell:![]()
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"I’m just better with money than you." This chips away at your confidence. It makes you doubt your own money management skills – makes you question your own ability to manage your spending.![]()
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"We need to save, so I will handle all accounts." ![]()
This sounds responsible at first but in reality, it completely cuts off your access to marital funds and shuts you out so over time you have little understanding of what is happening with your money.![]()
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"An allowance is the best way to manage our budget." This reduces an equal partner to a child-like role. You have to ask for money, even for basic needs and then of course your spending gets scrutinised and you get criticised for spending – permission is withdrawn and your allowance is cut as a punishment.![]()
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"You don't need a job; I will take care of you."![]()
This can be very tempting – who doesn't want to be taken care of? It actually creates total financial dependence and leaves you completely vulnerable should you want to leave the relationship.![]()
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"That debt is yours, but this asset is mine." They put bills in your name to ruin your credit but keep assets in their name.![]()
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Financial control is a silent trap. If your partner makes you feel powerless over your own finances, it is not love. It is control.![]()
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If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse or coercive control, support is available. You are not alone.![]()
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#FinancialAbuse #CoerciveControl #DomesticAbuseAwareness #EconomicAbuse #HealthyRelationships
Children don't need perfect parents, they need safe parents.![]()
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They need professionals who can recognise coercive control.![]()
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They need decisions based on evidence, not assumptions or stereotypes.![]()
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As professionals, without good, solid, tangible evidence that can be difficult to determine, but look at the patterns of behaviour, remember what you learnt about domestic abuse – remain curious, recognise your own biases, and keep learning. I've worked in this sector for 18 years and I am still learning!![]()
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Over the past few months I've noticed several recurring themes appearing across very different cases. They don't happen in every family, but they happen too often.![]()
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Domestic abuse doesn't always look how we expect. Survivors don't always behave how we expect. Children don't always disclose in neat, consistent ways. Survivors don't always react the way you expect or recall abuse in a timely manner or a linear fashion.![]()
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If we allow assumptions about gender, conflict or trauma to shape our thinking before we've fully explored the evidence, we risk misunderstanding the very people we're trying to protect.![]()
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Better outcomes start with curiosity, trauma-informed practice and a willingness to challenge our own biases.![]()
Domestic abuse is rarely straightfo#beyondhighconflicto#domesticabusel#coercivecontrol.#postseparationabusec#traumainformede#FamilyCourtn#childrensvoicest#safeguardingu#FamilyJusticem#IDVAu#professionalpracticeS#believevictimsm#EndDomesticAbuse#ProfessionalPractice #BelieveVictims #EndDomesticAbuse
Sharing this on behalf of my lovely friend Bonnie whose son Tyrese was tragically killed at such a young age. ![]()
So typical of Bonnie she is always thinking of others and having sat through 7 weeks of a criminal trial she recognised the lack of support for families seeking criminal justice. ![]()
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There’s little practical support when you need that much time off to attend court – witnesses get the minimal reimbursement for costs but for families there’s no help for travel expenses, food costs, childcare expenses, loss of income- you might not be giving evidence but when the case is about a member of your family of course you want to be there. ![]()
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If you can support this new fund it would mean a lot and help make it a little easier for families already struggling with grief. Even a like and a share to widen the reach helps. 🙏💗![]()
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Instagram: @tyslegacy_![]()
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www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/bonnie-clarke?utm_medium=CF&utm_source=CL&utm_content=link_in_bio…
www.justgiving.com
Iʼm raising money to provide financial support to families affected by violent crime. Helping ease the burden when it matters most.. Support this JustGiving Crowdfunding Page.
Sharing this as we know research shows there are close links between domestic abuse and child sexual abuse. Please be alert to the signs❗️![]()
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Emma Jane Taylor, UK
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Holiday handovers- a few tips to make it all a bit easier- here are a couple more tips!👇![]()
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*park somewhere you can get away easily. ![]()
* take someone with you if you can as your ex is less likely to cause a drama if someone else is watching ![]()
* if they try to hijack the handover by trying to speak to you about things they shouldn’t be discussing in front of the children just say ‘let me think about that, I will come back to you’ as you walk away and get in the car. ![]()
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#Summerholidays #singleparenting #separatedparents #postseparationabuse #divorcecoach