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Caron Kipping – Divorce & Separation Coach
(opens in a new tab)Master Practitioner Divorce Coach specialising in abusive and controlling relationships.
Also providing IDVA support in Family Court, training and consultancy.
Clients worldwide.
Which phrases do you recognise? If you thought your partner/stbx was the only person that says these things you are mistaken. These phrases aren’t unique to you- they are standard phrases coercive controllers use to bully, threaten and manipulate you into staying in the relationship. They might follow through with those threats, they might not, but just the fear about what they might do can be enough to keep you under control. We can’t control what they might do, but by understanding what they might do you can ensure you get ahead- you can ensure professionals are aware of what you are being threatened with, you can make sure you keep the evidence to confirm what they are threatening, you can make sure you understand how to safety plan and manage things if they do follow through with said threats. Coercive controllers are bullies that pray on those they believe to be weaker than them- you are not weak. You are strong- and together we are stronger. Get in touch if you need to work on an action plan to deal with the bully in your life. #bullyingtactics #coercivecontrolawareness #divorcinganarcissist #divorcecoaching #divorcesupport
That’s it!! As usual it’s been bonkers busy before hols but that is it now I am done for a whole week- I’m officially knackered! 😆I am off to get some vitamin sea and recharge my batteries. I won’t be responding to messages till I get back so I can completely switch off ( or try as hard as I can to!). Stay safe, see you when I return! 😀
A client accurately described trying to communicate with her ex about their child like‘trying to communicate with a lump of cement’ this week- and that is so true. You are literally wasting your life away if you try to reason with someone who refuses to accept any responsibility, who denies their own behaviour, who has little to no interest in understanding the feelings of your children. You may as well try to reason with the lump of cement, you will get the same result. What often works better is educating your child, finding ways to work around your ex’s behaviour and ignoring it as much as possible ( safeguarding issues are different of course). Your ex will never be the conscientious parent you are. So here are some simple rules you can teach your children to remember when they are with the other parent:* What to do in an emergency- where would be a safe place for them to go to ? It could be a room with a lock, it could be their bedroom, they don’t necessarily have to hide, encourage them to think where that might be* Don’t get in the middle of conflict – if the other parent is angry they should try to go to their room, put their headphones on, take themselves away from the situation ,or run to the neighbour.* Do they know how to call 999, do they know their address? * Water, suncream, teeth, wash- the 4 things that are super important- the things they MUST do even if the other parent doesn’t think they are important. Drink lots of water when it’s hot, make sure they put sunscreen on during sunny days, always brush their teeth and make sure they have a wash of some description every day. Get your children to recognise the importance of these habits and they will make sure they implement these without prompting. When discussing this with children you can make it a quiz or a game or have a general ’life skills’ chat – this conversation is not to make them feel scared of the other parent but to help them feel safe and comfortable when they aren’t with you. Teaching your children now will hopefully reduce any anxiety they might have and also reduce yours at the same time. ✅#safetyplanning #parallelparent #empoweringchildren #separatedparenting
'I was manipulated and silenced': Inside the secret Sky TV. A Sky TV investigation into failures within family courts in the UK. Validation for those in this horrible family court process. You are not alone, you should be heard, your concerns should be listened to, the court system needs to change- there is so much that is wrong with it. If you need support get in#tvdocumentaryo#SKYTVa#FamilyCourtReformo#familycourttransparencya#familycourttraumao#divorcesupportr#domesticabusee#mediause #media youtu.be/ODRj_hBSlWI?is=Wx9iRizN3oykrl_X
'I was manipulated and silenced': Inside the secret courts failing women
news.sky.com
Sky News investigates how family courts are leaving abused women feeling like they are 'on trial'. Mollie Malone speaks to one mother who felt she had no choice other than to flee the UK to escape her…