Don’t expect someone else to fill a void in YOU. I meet many clients who struggle with feelings around loss, low self-esteem, lack of confidence and self-belief. They yearn for someone to ‘fill the gap’, to make them whole and to give them the love they desperately seek – having a partner, no matter what, is their goal and being alone is unthinkable.
It can happen to anyone
For some clients they may have experienced the loss of a parent when they were a child or they may have witnessed abuse between their parents and grown up thinking that is the norm. Of course not everyone who ends up in an abusive and controlling relationship has had a difficult childhood – domestic abuse can happen to anyone. I have also seen the most confident, intelligent women brought to their knees by years of living with a controlling partner , yet to the outside world they seem to have everything going for them. Stop searching for someone else to make you happy – the only person responsible for your happiness is YOU.
Break the Cycle
You may find yourself repeating the same patterns – toxic relationship after toxic relationship can be exhausting both mentally and physically, not to mention dangerous. Abusive partners use your secrets and the vulnerabilities from your past against you, re-affirming your belief that this is all you deserve and preventing you from leaving.
This doesn’t have to be the case! The cycle CAN be broken, but education is key. Your next relationship could be a healthy and fulfilling one and everything you want and deserve, but put yourself first before you start looking..
Learn tactics of abusive behaviour so you can spot the signs early on and get out quickly if needed
Build confidence in yourself and learn to enjoy your own space
Know your own boundaries and values and stay firm on these
Don’t settle for less than you deserve
For more in-depth advice and support on healthy relationships, get in touch. I have a whole programme of strategies and tools to help you find the happiness you deserve. …after all life is too short to be unhappy.
