How are you adjusting?
Are you adjusting to the lockdown measures? In our house we all seem to have transitioned quite well -though we are only just about at the end of week 1, it might not feel like that by week 3! It seems there might be increased restrictions on the way soon so my plan is to make the most of the daily exercise outdoors while we can and while the sun is shining.
I feel lucky to live within walking distance of a beautiful park and I have seen more of it in the last couple of weeks B.L. (Before Lockdown) than I have in a few months! It’s so nice to see people out walking – everyone making more of an effort to offer a smile or a ‘hello’. I saw bunnies hopping in the field, ducks trying to make baby ducks and horses just chilling in the field oblivious to all the goings on in the world. Simple pleasures ..
Home Working
I have been working from home in my other job with https://www.thedashcharity.org.uk as well as continuing to support my clients and speaking to new clients. We know domestic abuse increases due to social isolation, so our teams have been super-busy taking calls, answering emails to people who have been reaching out and sharing advice to the community who may be able to help. They have launched an urgent fundraising appeal to help them raise funds to support their work and expand the Helpline and online services so they can extend their reach to those who need help. If you want to donate click the link: https://thedashcharity.org.uk/pages/5-donate
As an ex-nurse and midwife I have been blown away by the support towards our NHS, our teachers that continue to teach the children of keyworkers and those like my husband who are still going to work and keeping the Country running. They are putting their own lives on the line to help others – true Heroes. I left the NHS more than 10 years ago now so I have not been asked to return to help yet but in the meantime I have completed my NHS Volunteer form – hopefully I can help in some way.
Day to day
My children are older so it is not as much of a juggle as those of you who have younger children – I take my hat off to you trying to home-school and find enough things to keep them entertained! We put so much pressure on ourselves as parents though that I think now is the time to just ‘be’. No we don’t want them to fall too far behind with schoolwork but having a little time each day just to have fun or to allow the children to relax and entertain themselves is important too. Giving them positive memories of this chapter in their lives is something they can hold on to for many years to come and they will learn skills and strategies that will help them build resilience for the future.
My son is quite happy to find things to do but my daughter has barely moved out of bed since lockdown! We have however spent more time together and made more of an effort to be patient and positive which has really helped. As was the usual case with many families of teenagers, B.L. we used to spend evenings with all of us watching different tv’s or on our mobiles in different rooms and only ever saw each other if there was a crisis (such as the internet connection breaking down) or they needed feeding.
Our front door is uaually like a revolving door – ‘one in, one out’ and we never know how many of us are going to be in for dinner or indeed in at bedtime on any given day. Shift working and social lives keep us all on our toes and we struggle to find any day when we are all in the house at the same time.
A.L. we have an unspoken, strong resolve to get through this together, and have put in the effort to watch movies together – the whole way through with no distractions, we have walked together, actually had conversations and this afternoon we are about to venture into the unknown playing the new social distancing phenomena that is ‘House Party’. This App is available on App Store and enables you to play games with family and friends who are living elsewhere. Quizzes, drawing games and more – this could really test my drawing skills, especially after a couple of Gins! We moan about technology but we would definitely be lost without it at the moment.
Raiding the kitchen cupboards
Today I have swept the dust off the breadmaker and made some rolls for lunch with homemade soup, in an effort to keep us healthy and fighting fit. Before lockdown I always struggled with the daily question of ‘what do you want for dinner?’ which was undoubtedly answered with a very helpful (not) response of ‘dunno’ !
(BL) I either couldn’t decide what to cook or didn’t have the energy after a long day at work, and I have to say I have loved having the time and headspace to think about creating some lovely meals recently. With fussy eaters it’s nothing fancy, but watching Jamie on Channel 4’s ‘Keep Cooking and Carry On’ and sifting through good old reliable Mary Berry recipe books has helped hugely. I was hoping that having all this time on our hands might have inspired my younger generation to start cooking but hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day! They have been helping though which is nice – usually it’s just me on my lonesome in the kitchen while listening to shouts of ‘’is it ready yet?’’ On today’s menu we have homemade rolls, veggie soup and later my take on ‘Nando’s’ chicken – who needs takeaways?
Staying connected
We have ‘Face-timed’ and ‘WhatsApp’ videoed family members that previously we only spoke to every few months – checking in on each other and sharing our experiences. Sharing helps you feel less stressed and less isolated. Seeing each other ‘face to face’ is even better than txting and phone calls and definitely something I will keep up going forwards. My family all live some distance away and my mum is self-isolating for 3 months now – she will struggle with this as she is so active and sociable but she is being strict and keeping busy at home and i think my nagging has worked! Our regular ‘face to face’ calls are helping us both to keep connected and keeping our spirits up.
I have been offering evening and weekend sessions for clients as well as email contact to enable them to keep connected with me. I have also been sending clients motivational posts and resources to ensure they have the latest information, particularly around issues like child contact and Court. It has been such a confusing time for everybody – the Government has had to rush through new legislation and sometimes their advice hasn’t been very clear. I am trying to keep on top of this as much as possible but it seems to change daily and no doubt will change again next week. Like everyone I am just taking one day at a time and ‘going with the flow’.
I recently offered a free hour session for one client per professional that referred to me, as I wanted to reach out to anyone that needed a bit of a boost, a quick bit of advice or just some strategies and ideas to help them get through this challenging time. Lots of professionals are similarly offering free sessions, reduced price sessions and free resources at the moment which is great to see.
If you need advice on finances, mediation, Family Law, or anything else for that matter, don’t hesitate to get in touch with myself or reach out to someone. It might not be their particular expertise you need but we all have a portfolio of contacts, so may be able to put you in touch with the person you need to speak to. The most important thing is that you don’t go through this alone – reach out somehow, to a professional, a neighbour, a family member or a friend.
Gratitude
If this lockdown has taught us anything so far it is that we should be grateful for good health, family, friends and the simple things in life. We all rush around day to day in the pursuit of earning more money, getting a better job, being better at this, better at that, buying the latest gadgets, etc. etc. but ultimately that stuff that really matters to us is none of the above.
Spending time with those that matter to us is invaluable. We will all be ‘#MakingMemories’ now, but resist the urge to compete. Get through it as best you can, , there is no right and wrong way as long as you are keeping to the lockdown measures – we are all just ‘winging it’. Reach out for help where you need it, recognise that some days will be better than others and above all try and stay positive. This time will pass. Look after yourself and I am here if you need me.
Now I better go and clean up the kitchen then spend a bit more time with the kids.
Stay safe and well.
