I am a great believer in love. When it’s honest, true and real, it is the best feeling in the world. However, if you don’t know the difference between love and control, you can find yourself in trouble. Here are five early warning signs that should ring alarm bells:
- When they arrange special dates knowing you already have plans and then sulk if you don’t cancel to be with them. This can be a subtle way of trying to isolate you from ‘potential threats. Always keep in touch with friends and be concerned if your partner constantly criticises them or tries to stop you from seeing them.
‘’ He knew I had plans to go to a work party and then arranged a romantic date night. He made me feel so guilty that I cancelled my other plans and this was the start of a regular pattern that meant I stopped seeing my friends. ‘’ – Karen, Windsor.
2. They make negative comments about your appearance: ‘’ that skirt is a bit short’’, ‘’ don’t you think it looks a bit tarty’’. Subtle negative comments that make you doubt your judgement are a warning sign of controlling behaviour.They won’t take ‘no’ for an answer – they go on and on about a particular issue, until you agree with them. Bullying can be subtle – you should be able to agree to disagree without being worried about repercussions.
3.They get serious too quickly. They try to move in with you very quickly, ask you to marry them, declare undying love after a few weeks. Of course, we have all heard about whirlwind romances, but ask yourself why are they moving too fast. Is it because they love you or is it because they want to monitor you??
‘’ He told me he loved me more than anyone before and that he just wanted to be with me all the time. It made me feel special but what he really wanted was to keep an eye on me and once he moved in things got much worse.’’ – Helen, Slough.
4.They rely heavily on you for their happiness. It’s healthy to have your own interests, own social circle and to be able to enjoy your own company. It’s not healthy for one person to be heavily reliant on the other.
5.They won’t take ‘no’ for an answer – they go on and on about a particular issue, until you agree with them. Bullying can be subtle – you should be able to agree to disagree without being worried about repercussions.
Don’t let your heart rule your head. Trust your gut instinct – if something feels wrong it probably is. Don’t ignore it. To discuss your relationship in confidence I offer a complimentary call.
Tel: 07899991304.
