Kim recently emailed me to share an update on her situation. Kim has given me permission to share with you here so hopefully it will inspire others in similar situations to be brave and keep going:
”I was brave enough to get out in June 2022. I let him stay in the house but as him and his family were nasty and disgusting to me I decided that I had to go through with the divorce and the selling of my house; which I did. We had to go to court, my solicitor said that really there shouldn’t be any need to go to court as really our case was quite straightforward. My ex husband just wanted to make it as difficult as possible for me – which he did tell me he would make sure he did.
At court we tried to get my husband to agree to a 50/50 split but he refused – he said he wanted a 60/40 split in his favour and he wanted me to sell the house and remove all of the furniture (he left the house in a terrible state). I agreed to it all before going into court as I just wanted this “man” out of my life. In hindsight I should have waited until we went into court but I wanted “calmness” and as little pain as possible.
When I went to leave, I thanked the judge. He then said to me that he had read my case and he wanted to wish me all the very best for my new life. My barrister said that she hadn’t heard that from a judge before. When I got outside of the court, my ex husband was stood outside; I asked him if he was ok (old habits never die) and he gave me some verbal abuse. I just walked away with my head held high.
I finally sold my house on the 4th July (My independence day 🙂 ). I now have no debt but more importantly I am free. I am finally experiencing freedom, happiness and love.
I met my sole mate last year and it feels great to be with a man that loves me unconditionally. We have plans for our future adventures and we are just loving our lives together. Feels amazing.
I have changed my name by deed poll to my maiden name.
I work for myself – I haven’t been actively looking for another contract role yet as I want to set up my business properly, sort out my accounts, take a marketing course etc. But I want to do things differently and in the future, possibly help people who have been in the same situation as me, to let them know they can get out and they can be brave; it takes time and pain but we can do it.
After the house was sold, I received WhatsApp messages and a letter from my ex husband asking for half of the monies following sale of the goods. I could not believe it! The same shaking and feelings filtered into my life however, this time I did not let him get away with it. I contacted my solicitor to ask the legalities of the letter I was going to send to him and make sure I was correct in what I was saying. I then sent him a letter – I have heard nothing else from him.
He seems to have tried to try hurt and belittle my stepdaughter too, but this has not worked. When I left my ex husband I called her as I wanted to explain and also to say I understood that “blood was thicker than water” but she stopped me in my tracks by saying that she knew I was the person that had brought her up and was always there for her and that her dad was not. She said I was her blood and she loved me very much. Was incredible to hear those words.
Anyway Caron, I could type for England!!! However I just wanted to say thank you so much for your book, your advice, your help and your Facebook page. You are an incredible person, an inspiration and Thank you.
This is why I love this job – Kim did it and so can you! It’s never easy but life needs to be worth living, not just surviving.
