My friend Martin from http://www.unityfitness.co.uk/ has worked with several people over the years who have experienced domestic abuse and turned to fitness as a way of helping them cope with the stress of it and looked to fitness to help them in their recovery. Martin is a great example of someone who is willing to speak out and support those who need help the most. He wrote this short piece which I wanted to share with you:
What’s the matter?
The dogs bitten me again for the hundredth time 😞, I just don’t understand it, I don’t know what I do to deserve it…
Has it always done that ?, yes, how long have you had him ?, over ten years now…. that’s not good, that’s not normal behaviour, why does he do that? Dogs don’t do that no matter what breed they are !!! Dogs are meant to be loving loyal doting members of the family !!! That’s really not normal and you need to seriously think about him living elsewhere now….
I’ve no idea why he always does it to me, I’ve always treated him well from the moment we got him as a puppy, yet he just goes for me every time I feed him…
Does he do it to anyone else?
Occasionally he’ll do it to the kids too, he’s never bitten them but he snaps and goes for them in the same way so I don’t ever let them give him food now….. they’re scared of him, I’m scared of him now, it’s getting worse and I feel that I can’t do anything to stop it….😞
Over the years he’s bitten me on the leg, the hand, the cheek, the knee, my arm and has destroyed a favourite top, the sleeve of my Christmas dressing gown, my jeans, a bridesmaid dress, gifts from my parents and even a pair of trainers I was wearing…..
That’s terrible, dogs aren’t meant to do that…you need to get rid of him before he does someone permanent damage ..
People who have witnessed it don’t like to come round out house because they don’t like him, he scares them, he’s unpredictable around food and they make excuses why they don’t visit me too often, but I know it’s about him.
Mum and dad, my sister, some of my best friends, the neighbours all hate him and tell me that I need to get rid of him, but he was expensive, he’s a beautiful looking pedigree, I’ve put a lot of effort into him, I’d be sad because he’s be sad to go, the kids sort of love him even though they’re scared of him (when it’s not dinner time) and he’s good protection to have in the house…. 🤷🏼♂️
Maybe he doesn’t realise he does it?
Realistically none of that matters if he goes to bite you every time you feed him, he knows he does it because every chooses to only do it to you and the kids, he knows it’s bad behaviour !!!!…..
The vets say his behaviour is not normal and that he needs to go to a more appropriate home before something bad happens. The police would tell you get rid of him every time he goes for you, they wouldn’t be happy with him around the kids either 🤷🏼♂️
Is he like that with everyone then ?
No he is only like it with me, he is good when other people feed him, he behaves differently when I’ve watched him get fed by others, he makes me look a fool and a liar when I tell them what he’s done to me over the years and what he’s normally like to be around at dinner time….
Have you tried to change anything ?
Yes over the years I’ve changed his bowl, his food, where he eats, what I wear, making eye contact, not making eye contact, my tone of voice, the time of day I feed him and I even cooked him steak. I’ve fed him in the kitchen and outside, but the end result is that he hates me and goes for me the second I put the bowl down and turn my back on him, I am constantly on edge around him and never know when it’s going to happen next, or what’s coming ….
The advice from people around me is always the same, this isn’t normal behaviour for a dog, an unpredictable dog is a dangerous dog, he’s got to go…..
But I think it must just be me, other people’s dog don’t do this, I think I must do something to upset him 😞
He has to go, this is very abnormal behaviour, dogs do not do this to their owners, not ever, it’s not you that prompts this reaction, dogs that do this to any children (even occasionally) are dangerous and shouldn’t be around them even if the kids love them…. tell me who else’s dog behaves in this way ? Your Mum and dads dog ? Nope, My dog Maggie ? Nope, Hollys dogs ? Nope, Anyone else’s ?? Nope because they don’t…..
No this is not normal behaviour, no one else’s dog does anything like this, not to their owner, not in their family home, not to their children….it’s not you, it’s him, he’s untrustworthy, unpredictable and dangerous and you need to seriously look at rehoming him before something serious happens.
It makes you think, doesn’t it..?
If you need advice on how to get out of an abusive relationship safely contact the National DV Helpline on 0808 2000 247 , call your local domestic abuse organisation in confidence or contact me by calling: 07899991304 or use the form at the bottom of the front page on this website.
